Satire stories about an artist or bands. Just plain fugly stories!





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Drawn and Quartered (Washingon state, U.S.) Burning Witches (Switzerland)

Vike Tare (Germany) interview with Oxygen Destroyer (Washington state)


*****HAPPY NEW YEAR *****2017*****



Burning Witches

Image may contain: shoesBurning Witches is traditional heavy metal from Switzerland. The band is new and so far they have a single published and they have some songs online. They are working on making their name known for everyone who will bang their head with the fire of the burning heavy metal witches. They are just getting started. Below you can find out more about who they are.

OFFICIAL: The band Burning Witches was founded during spring 2015 in Brugg, beautiful Switzerland, by guitar player Romana Kalkuhl. It has always been her big dream to perform with a women's heavy metal band on stage. During the music university studies she already started her first group: ATLAS & AXIS with which she has already recorded two albums and played several concerts!

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In 2015 Romana started to look for talented ladies for the new combo. Jeanine Grob (bass) a longtime friend, became the first official member. At a party on a festival Romana met Seraina Telli (singer) for the first time. It clicked right away betweens the two girls, on a musical and on a personal level. Seraina brought in many ideas and a lot of experience cause of her studies at the Music Academy and her band SURRILIUM. The guitarist and the singer became a great songwriting team right away!

Romana wrote her mate Schmier from DESTRUCTION/PANZER about her new project, he was interested in the new outfit and the ladies brought him onboard as a producer / consultant!

After an intensive search and different auditions, BURNING WITCHES found Lala Frischknecht the perfect drummer for the all chick metal band . Since summer 2015, the
girls have been working hard on new material and in autumn 2015 they recorded the first three songs with VO Pulver at Little Creek Studio (PANZER / PRO PAIN / DESTRUCTION).

The search for the right band name was kind of easy, because if four crazy girls burn hard for Heavy Metal, they can only call themselves BURNING WITCHES.

BURNING WITCHES - Burning Witches

Burning Witches - Creator Of Hell

Burning Witches - Metal Demons



It's a brand new year and you want to bond with your loyal fans. Zombie Death Metal is going to be huge in 2017. #ZDM2017

Somehow, ZDM scene is avoiding Conroe Texas. That's the mighty Conroe, Texas to you sir! Danielle want's to tell you a word or two about this and we agree.....represent Danielle make Conroe,Texas proud.

Need directions? Here you go...

Conroe is at 30°18′58″N 95°27′32″W (30.316124, -95.458801).

According to the United States Census Bureau, the city has a total area of 37.9 square miles (98 km2), of which, 37.8 square miles (98 km2) of it is land and 0.1 square miles (0.26 km2) of it (0.21%) is water.

It is about 40 miles (64 km) north of Houston.

Danielle "Death Metal Maniac" Petersen Wants to Know Why Your Band Never Comes to Conroe, Texas.

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Danielle has given many likes to your band’s posts on Facebook and she has asked many times why your band never comes to Conroe when you guys go on tour and come through Dallas and Houston.


She’s, like, totally into your band cuz you have the best zombie songs, for sure, and sometimes you are just posting stuff about political stuff or some movie that you saw or some hamburger that you ate or whatever and Danielle gives it a like anyway cuz she’s a fan of your band, like, totally.

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Last year you said on Facebook that y'all would be going everywhere, like seriously, everywhere in Texas, and you went to El Paso, Austin, McAllen, c’mon, friggin McAllen!, like, seriously?

You did a show in the north Dallas at a house party, and she found this out because she saw some girl’s posting about your band hanging out with everyone and taking selfies with people and stuff, and this girl was saying she was BFF with y’all and stuff, and you also went to Oklahoma, which is weird cuz nobody lives in Oklahoma and besides don't nobody care about stupid Oklahoma now that Kevin Durant left the place.

Image result for what is Zombie death metalAnyways, but you don't wanna play in Conroe, why?, because you think that Conroe is close enough to Houston, well, no!, WTH, it ain't that close and besides Danielle don't got no car, man, she's 14 years old, you fool, who's gonna drive her to Houston for a zombie brutal death metal show, man, c’mon, you be, like, trippin or something, it's not like Texas got a good public transportation system, Metro doesn't go all over, you know, and the buses don't come by often, and it's Texas, remember?

it's super hot out here and ain’t nobody gonna be standing in the hot sun in Conroe waiting for no bus, and you gotta be sweating and standing and waiting for the bus to come.

Plus, ain't no bus gonna take Danielle to no zombie death metal concert at a bar, duh! Just come to Conroe already!

I see it in your eyes,  I feel it in your touch,  I taste it from your lips,  And baby more I love you ❄️ #worndoll #halfhead #halfheadarmy 🎪  socks- @killstarco   jacket- @worndoll


We are starting 2017 with some thrash news from the mighty MMB....thrash & fuglymaniacs, imagine that ....

Chase Thibodeau - Vocals
Rene Wilkinson - Guitar
Brent Gallant - Guitar
Kyle Sheppard - Drums
Alexander Giles - Bass

Terrifier : Weapons of Thrash Destruction Test Your Metal release: 20 January 2017

"I'm sick and tired of people saying that we put out 11 albums that sound exactly the same. In fact, we've put out 12 albums that sound exactly the same."--Angus Young, 2000.

Oh, I can hear the complaining now. "Terrifier is a good thrash band, but the new album is eight songs that sound exactly the same." Well, look it, you should have stopped at the part, "Terrifier is a good thrash band," and leave it at that. That's all that they care about, really. They are fast, loud and they figure out how to make a lot of noise. A lot. Mucho. Terrifier makes all the songs fast thrash and if someone accuses them of writing the same song, what will they say? "Thank you!" What else could they say? This is what they do and this is what they are. I mean, c'mon, just look at the title of the album. You see?

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“Nuclear Demolisher”
“Skitzoid Embolism”
“Drunk As Fuck”
“Bestial Tyranny”
“Riders Of Doom”
“Sect Of The Serpent”

Terrifier is not very good at multitasking, but they are compulsive about the one task that they have set for themselves: thrash. Their album is for thrash fanatics, not for people who like "some thrash, here and there." Terrifier plays super tight, thrash with blasting in some places, crazy street yelling, and shredding solos.

That's what they do on the first song and it's what they do on the next song, and the one after that. All day, every day.

They don't have songs with accordions and flutes and they don't have keyboards and they don't think it's funny to dress up and wear exotic skirts. It's denim and leather, and that's it.

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They drink beer, they burp in public, curse like sailors and they dropped out of high school. They can't read or write very well, but oh boy, they can thrash like a bat out of hell.

They get arrested a lot, get fired from their day jobs a lot, but it doesn't matter because it's not their life mission to be the employee of the month.

The objective is clear: play fast thrash, show the world that they can play fast and can shred like nobody's business (They even have a non-song track called "Riders of Doom" and it's a quick little ditty of guitar melody and shredding, just for fun and giggles).

Once you listen, there won't be an argument from you. They will convince you, and if they do not, it's probably because you are not an ultra devoted zealot for thrash.

It's not a crime to dislike thrash (wait, it's not?!), but cynics, skeptics and pessimists better get out of the way of this Canadian shredding alley machine.

The guitar tone is the quintessential, classicstyle razor-sharp sound, and speed is not a big game in town, it is the only game in town.

Approach this music like you would approach a mosh pit.

This is what thrash is.

Their name is Terrifier and they play thrash like giants, walking with their heads held high, strutting their stuff.

You gotta strut like you own the place.